At times our bodies can tell us when something shifts or changes abnormally. The “I feel sick today” or “My mind is not okay for some reason” feeling can overwhelm anyone of us, at any time in our daily lives. But we often push it away for a while to pay attention to it later. One might think, ‘maybe it’s just a headache’ and decide to take something to ease the pain until the pain becomes so severe, they have to visit a doctor. The same applies to your frame of mind. That feeling of “I’m sad and not in the mood to be around friends or anyone today,” can be a sign of depression, especially if it happens frequently. This, among other symptoms such as excessive paranoia, worry, or anxiety, can be warning signs of a mental illness left untreated. It often gets ignored until the problem persists into a more challenging state.
Also, there’s the ‘there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m fine’ feelings which are habitually related to a coping mechanism otherwise known as denial. Denial gives you time to adjust to distressing situations; however, staying in denial can interfere with treatment or your ability to tackle challenges. If you’re in denial, you’re trying to protect yourself by refusing to accept the truth about something that’s happening in your life. In some cases, initial short-term denial can be a good thing, as it gives you time to adjust to a painful or stressful issue. It might also be a precursor to making some sort of changes in your life. But denial has a dark side.
In this article, we will tackle the dangers of staying in denial after receiving distressing information based on your mental health status, signs of denial, when denial can be helpful, and moving past the denial phase. Also, I’ll be sharing some effects or the impact of denial and mental health in African countries.
Understanding denial and its purpose
Refusing to acknowledge that something is wrong is a way of coping with emotional conflict, stress, painful thoughts, threatening information and anxiety. You can be in denial about anything that makes you feel vulnerable or threatens your sense of control, such as an illness, addiction, eating disorder, personal violence, financial problems or relationship conflicts. You can be in denial about something happening to you or to someone else. When you’re in denial, you:
• Won’t acknowledge a difficult situation
• Try not to face the facts of a problem
• Downplay possible consequences of the issue
Common Signs of Denial
• Rationalizing the problem: Although rationalizations may make sense on the surface, they often mask the extent of the mental illness or problem.
• Blaming others: It’s natural to feel defensive when someone brings up your level of drinking or drug use for example. However, flipping the situation around to blame someone else can be a form of denial. If you find yourself saying, “well, it’s really my partner’s fault because she’s always nagging me,” you may be using blame to divert attention from your own problems.
• Comparing your circumstance to others’: At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter whether you are more or less than the people around you. Even if you seem ‘better adjusted,’ mental illness may be affecting your everyday life.
• Pretending to be compliant: In some situations, it feels best to just nod your head and agree when someone expresses concern about your mental health. However, this is often a sign of denial. Making promises with no intent to follow through, pretending to look into treatment options, or continually apologizing may be signs that denial is a problem for you.
• Suppressing thoughts or emotions about the problem: In the long run, it can be very harmful to suppress thoughts and feelings about your mental health. Consciously deciding, “I’m just not going to think about that now” is a sign that your illness may have gotten out of hand.
• ‘My life, my problem’: People with this mentality do not believe that anyone else should express concern about their mental illness. However, this can be a way of denying the impact on your friends, family members, and other loved ones.
When denial can be helpful
Refusing to face facts might seem unhealthy. Sometimes, though, a short period of denial can be helpful. Being in denial gives your mind the opportunity to unconsciously absorb shocking or distressing information at a pace that won’t send you into a psychological tailspin. For example, after a traumatic event, you might need several days or weeks to process what’s happened and come to grips with the challenges ahead.
Imagine what might happen if you have an emotional outburst at work. You might feel a rush of fear and adrenaline as you imagine you’re having a nervous breakdown. So, you ignore the episode, hoping it’ll go away on its own but when the emotional outbursts continue, you eventually decide to consult a psychologist. This type of denial is a helpful response to stressful information. You initially deny the distressing problem but as your mind absorbs the possibility, you begin to approach the problem more rationally and take action by seeking help.
When denial can be harmful
What if you had continued to be in denial about your emotions? What if you never sought help? If denial persists and prevents you from taking appropriate action such as consulting your doctor, it’s a harmful response. Consider these examples of unhealthy denial:
• A college student witnesses a violent shooting but claims not to be affected by it.
• The partner of an older man in the end stage of life refuses to discuss health care directives and wills with him, insisting that he’s getting better.
• Someone periodically misses morning work meetings after drinking excessively the night before but insists there’s no problem because the work is still getting done.
• A couple are ringing up so much credit card debt that they toss the bills aside because they can’t bear to open them.
• The parents of a teen with drug addiction keep giving their child ‘clothing’ money.
• A person with chest pain and shortness of breath doesn’t believe those symptoms signal a heart attack and delays getting help.
In situations such as these, denial might prevent you or your loved one from getting help, such as medical treatment or counselling, or dealing with problems that can spiral out of control, all of which have potentially devastating long-term consequences. Anyone at all can get mental issues no matter their background, however, the perception of the meaning of mental illness might differ according to someone’s cultural or social background. In particular, mental illness is not always viewed the same way in the African setting as it may be viewed in the western world.
Mental Health Awareness from an African Perspective
Often, the bigger challenge in addressing mental illness in Africa is not the illness itself but the false stories society has fabricated about mental health. Mental health has historically been neglected in Africa’s health and development policy agenda. Faced with many challenges including intractable poverty, infectious diseases, maternal and child mortality, not forgetting conflicts, Africa and its political leaders, as well as international development agencies, usually overlook the importance of mental health on the continent. While mental health policies and strategies are available in most African countries, the implementation of mental health services or interventions is often sub-optimal. This trend is often compounded by three factors: ignorance of the existence of mental health problems, stigma against those living with mental illness and mistaken beliefs that mental illnesses cannot be treated.
Recent studies show that in sub-Saharan Africa for example, rates of psychological disorders in adults are particularly elevated, and rates of posttraumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and depression are ranging from 20% to 60%. These statistics show that there are several reasons why we need to give greater priority to mental health. These include the facts that doing so delivers other health benefits and helps tackle socioeconomic challenges as well. Let’s not forget the fact that there are economic benefits too hence access to mental health care should be a basic human right. Addressing cultural nuances around mental health in the African setting is a topic that would require a whole chapter on its own. Though, as humans, we all have different ways of coping. While some choose denial, it’s important to note that there is something anybody can do to move past it.
Moving past denial
When faced with an overwhelming turn of events, it’s OK to say, “I just can’t think about all of this right now.” You might need time to work through what’s happened and adapt to new circumstances but it’s important to realize that denial should only be a temporary measure; it won’t change the reality of the situation. It isn’t always easy to tell if denial is holding you back. The strength of denial can change over time, especially for someone with chronic illness. Some periods are linked to less defensiveness, and at other times denial may be much stronger. If you feel stuck or if someone you trust suggests that you’re in denial, you might want to try these strategies:
- Honestly examine what you fear.
• Think about the potential negative consequences of not taking action.
• Allow yourself to express your fears and emotions.
• Try to identify irrational beliefs about your situation.
• Journal/write about your experience.
• Open up to a trusted friend or loved one.
• Join a support group.
If you can’t make progress dealing with a stressful situation on your own you’re stuck in the denial phase, consider talking to a mental health practitioner. He or she can help you find healthy ways to cope with the situation rather than trying to pretend it doesn’t exist.
When a loved one needs help moving past denial
You might find it frustrating when someone you love is in denial about an important issue but before demanding that your loved one face the facts take a step back. Try to determine if he or she just needs a little time to work through the issue. At the same time, let the person know that you’re open to talking about the subject, even if it makes both of you uncomfortable. Ultimately, this might give your loved one the security he or she needs to move forward. Your loved one may even be relieved when you bring the issue up.
If your loved one is in denial about a serious health issue, such as depression, eating disorders, personality disorders, Post-traumatic stress disorder, Psychotic disorders, including schizophrenia or cancer, HIV/AIDS or an addiction, introducing the issue might be especially difficult. Listen and offer your support. Don’t try to force someone to seek treatment, which could lead to angry confrontations. Offer to meet together with a doctor or mental health practitioner.
Conclusion
Ultimately, it’s not healthy to live in denial. This is just one of the reasons why most illnesses are left untreated for a long time until the body or the mind has lost all energy to keep fighting. If one learns to simply accept their mental health status or their physical aches and pains that could be signs to deeper health-related problems, then the recovery process would materialize a lot sooner and at times can even be easier to withstand. One thing to note is that your mental health is just as important as your physical health. If you don’t feel happy, tell someone. It’s not an embarrassment to want to take care of yourself. We need to learn to reach out to people more and let them know what’s happening. At the end of the day, YOU ARE IMPORTANT and YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS.
Source: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics
Mimi Machakaire is a Zimbabwean with a Diploma in Film Production from the University of Zimbabwe and a Diploma in journalism from Rutherford Hayes University, in the United States of America. She has a great passion for writing, journalism and storytelling. She currently resides in Maseru city, Lesotho.
