The Merriam Webster dictionary defines Promise as a declaration that one will do or refrain from doing something. It is also a legal binding declaration that gives the person to whom it is made a right to expect or to claim the performance or forbearance of a specified act. Promise, as a noun and a verb, has many synonyms such as covenant, pledge, swear, vow, oath, word, amongst others, all of which portray seriousness.
Many make promises, from as simple as promising to meet a loved one for dinner, to promising to love someone for the rest of your life, or promising to take a country out of poverty. When a promise made is not kept, it has a great emotional impact on the recipient. In fact, breaking a promise is seen as a betrayal.
When it comes to elections in Africa, the phrase ‘promise and fail’ seems to have come to stay. Politicians make lots of promises which they fail to keep. Not only do they fail to keep these promises, but the economic, social, and democratic atmosphere also worsen during their tenures. This is a betrayal of the trust the populace place in their hands. Because of this abysmal experience, a leader who keeps a few of their promises, no matter how terrible they perform, is praised. Despite the recurrence of this cycle, the promises are so enticing that the populace always has a little hope that ‘this time’ will be different. Unfortunately, ‘this time’ has not been different in many cases.
Read – Writers Space Africa (WSA) Magazine Appoints New Chief Editor
The words pledge and promise appear in most traditional wedding vows. Despite making such vows solemnly and sometimes, I believe, with the purest of intentions, they are usually broken as is evident by the alarming rate of divorce and other ‘unloving’ acts such as domestic violence, ‘ghosting,’ etc. To those that have experienced it, heartbreak is not just emotional, it is also a very real and physical pain. The breakdown of a marriage affects not just the two parties involved but has a ripple effect, affecting all those connected especially children, if any were birthed by the union. Even work or business is affected by the breakdown of a marriage. Many a song have been borne out of love, but much more has been borne out of heartbreak and betrayal.
Sometimes heartbreak comes even before the marriage. According to the Bible, love is patient, kind, steadfast, it suffers long, endures all things, and believes all things. Maybe it is this kind of love that drives people to give their all to someone they intend to marry, sometimes ignoring the voice of caution of kin and kith. Or is it the desire to ‘secure’ the partner? Meanwhile, when this promise of marriage is not fulfilled, the resulting emotional turmoil is so great that sometimes it drives one to insanity. When a person experiences this many times (for some even once or twice) they become sceptical about the existence of love and think that trusting another human will only bring regret. Brenda Fassie’s song, Promise, says it aptly; ‘…What you telling me that for you don’t mean it……………….. ‘
Promises transcend not just the physical realm but the spiritual as well. I can’t delve into what makes one a devotee of one religion and not another but in every religion (or almost every religion), devotees follow doctrines because of a promise; maybe a promise of a better life in the hereafter, a promise of success and fulfilment in the now or not so distant future. Sometimes we hear of people who became atheists because their prayers to God were not answered for a long time, so they reached the conclusion that such a God does not exist.
Read – Fulfillment – An Article by Henry Ngeli, Zambia
What binds a person to a promise made? Is it the touching of pinky fingers, the spoken word, the strength of the person’s character, or the legality of a document signed? We find addicts promising to stop their addiction, spouses and parents promising to do better, employers promising that they are on the matter, only for workers to be laid off weeks later. ‘…Your promises have never been anything you made them seem.'(Brenda Fassie’s Promise)
In times past, when human settlement was in small groups, promises were made verbally with a few ‘trusted’ people as witnesses. As writing developed and societies expanded, it then became necessary for promises to be written. As human societies continued to expand and evolve, simple writing could no longer suffice hence it became necessary to have legal systems to authenticate such written agreements. Despite such stringent measures, humans still look for loopholes in this binding contract to escape the promises or declarations made.
Can we prevent people from making promises they do not intend to keep?
In the public sector, promises are made to gain the favour of a position or an office. Their rights of office can be linked to the obligations they promise to fulfil. In simple terms; accountability. Developing countries still have a long way to go regarding this. We still hear news of misappropriation of public funds and outright looting of money. Thomas Jefferson once said, ”When the government fears the people there is liberty, when the people fear the government there is tyranny.” The only way for accountability to be possible is for the people to come together and harness their power to keep their chosen leaders in check.
Read – Unfulfilling Dream Jobs – An Article by Masemola Rebone, South Africa
On a personal level, promises come with a degree of trust. It is for this reason that when someone is promised money, the person goes around with a level of confidence collecting goods on credit. When the promise is not fulfilled, the person will be in a fix with much more debt that is difficult to pay without trouble. Here, it is advisable that one does not spend money until cash is at hand. In cases that have to do with love and relationships, what does one advise? How does one protect one’s self from the pain of intimate promises broken? What can one do to protect one’s heart when the promises are so alluring? The only person every one of us can control is us. Others we simply influence or manipulate. So, we can only act in the way we desire and hope that others reciprocate. ‘Do unto others what you want them to do unto you.’ To love is to be vulnerable. We can love with a little wisdom and maybe a dash of caution.
